All I had
by misssongfix
Summary: SongFic of JLo's ALl I had


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~*~All I Have~*~

It was a miserably snowy day as Hermione Granger pulled her bangs fearfully and angrily behind her ears. One thought was constantly running through her head. What would Harry say? She was sick and tired of Harry's laziness. Why was she always the one walking up to him and hugging him? Why did she always have to start the conversations? She was tired of waiting for him. Earlier that day Hermione had told Harry to meet him in front of the Quidditch pitch at 3:00pm, it was 3:30pm. She felt tears of cold and sadness run down her frost-bitten cheeks. She sighed, and decided to leave. She walked across the snow-covered path, kicking the snow angrily, with the sick idea of it being Harry.

"Oy! 'Mione!" a familiar male voice sounded from behind her. Hermione stopped, and let out a groan only she could hear. It was Harry.

" Where the hell, have you been, Harry? I've been waiting for you for a half an hour!" Hermione yelled at Harry, almost dumbstruck with anger. Harry looked at her with misunderstanding, and for a second a twinkle of joy ran through those hypnotic, green eyes that had made Hermione fall in the first place.

"Ron needed me to ask Lavender out for him, they're now a couple. We can go on double dates!" Harry replied happily, taking Hermione's hand. Hermione, out raged with anger, released her frozen hand from his grip. She felt her mitten connect with the side of his face, leaving a red-patch on his cheek. 

"Harry James Potter, I don't want your apologies and your grief . Don't think I'm forgiving you, because I'm outraged. I'm sick of the excuses and I'm sick of you. It's over."She answered, her voice complete with fury. She felt her eyes leak with icy tears, and she ran away from the hero. He starred at her from behind, lost for words.

_Its such a shame but I'm leaving _

cant take the way you mistreated me 

And its crazy, but oh baby 

it don't matter whatever don't phase me 

Harry, coming back into reality, ran after Hermione, not realizing what had just happened. He heard her muttered sobs, and he ran faster to catch up.

_I don't believe you wanna leave like this _

I don't believe I just had my last real kiss

I do believe we'll laugh and reminisce 

wait a minute, don't bounce Baby

let's talk about this, miss 

Harry grabbed her arm, and Hermione shrieked in fury. The icy cold wind was hitting against her painfully, and Harry didn't understand...

" Hermione! I can change!" Harry yelled, trying to keep control of the fury-filled girl.

_Well I'm bouncing and I'm out son_

I gotta leave you alone 

Cause I'm good, I'm holding down my spot 

and I'm good, with the girls on the block 

and I'm good, I got this thing on lock 

So without me you'll be fine, right? 

Hermione angrily pulled her arm out of Harry's grasp, running up and closing in on Hogwarts. 

_All My pride is all I have_

Hermione whispered to herself. Refusing to look back at Harry, for what she might see. She tripped and fell into the burning cold snow, and felt herself leak more and more tears.

_Pride is what you have, baby girl I'm what you have_

Harry stood, watching Hermione struggle to lift herself from the ground. He heard her from the distance mutter,

_You'll be needing me, but to bad_

Hermione felt her skin tingle, as she saw Harry, watching her. She ran quicker to the castle, running with all her might. 

_Be easy, don't make decisions while your mad_

She shook her head, trying to forget those green eyes, watching her.

_the path you chose to run alone _

She made her hands into fists of fury, making her nails dig into her silky, swan-like skin. This used to be how she held her rage in, when she was a little girl. Harry, on the other hand was still flabbergasted. He felt a single pedal of a tear fall down his face, but he suddenly snapped back to reality.

_I know you're independent, you can make it on your own_

Hermione looked back, with misunderstanding running through red-shot eyes.

_Here with me you had a home_

Harry looked at her, as she turned to run back to the castle, inches away.

_but time is of the essence, why spend it on your own _

Hermione took one last look at Harry, her last shot at forgiveness, and with that, she ran inside the castle, remembering the last words **Time is of the essence, why spend it on your own.**

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Yesterday's events were still running through Hermione's head, as if it had happened seconds ago. That night she had come up to the dormitories, crying. Lavender and Pavarti had been there, and had been concerned about their friend. Though Hermione refused to say what happened, Lavender and Pavarti had a hunch. Pavarti and Lavender walked down the staircase to the Great Hall, talking about Hermione's misery. They walked up to the Gryffindor table, to see the boy they had been looking for.

" Speak up, Potter. What did you do to Hermione? All night she's been crying, saying that her pride is the only thing she has left. What did you say to her?" Pavarti spat at Harry, not bothering to control her anger. People around starred at Harry and the girls, joining in on the angry glaring at Harry.

" I didn't do anything, she broke up with me. But, is she ok?" Harry asked, eyes growing with concern.

"She's been crying all night, if you consider that ok." Lavender responded, anger lingering in her voice. Harry stood up abruptly, pushing his chair out.

" I'll be right back, ok ladies? I have an owl I have to send." he told them, leaving them standing. He ran out of the Great Hall, and up the cold , chamber steps up to the owlery. The owlery was painted with owl feathers and owl droppings, and it was truly a horrible place. He looked for Hedwig and found a quill and a paper in a pocket of his robe.

Dear Hermione(he wrote),

Are you all right? I heard from Pavarti and Lavender that you've been crying all night? I'm really sorry, but as I told you before, I can change. Please owl me back, and don't stay mad- I still want to at least be friends.

Love forever and for always,

Harry

He sent the letter with his beautiful white owl, and watched it fly to the top of the castle. He sighed and walked out, hoping his letter would work.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione awoke to find a small peck, tapping her red cheek gently. She had spent most of the night sobbing, and still had the red-shot eyes. It was Hedwig. She patted the owl gently, and unfolded the letter, wanting to see the essence of the letter.

She read the letter, and made a grunt of pure disgust. She couldn't believe Harry. Of course she wanted to stay friends, what had made him think otherwise- but they could never have what they had again. She read her letter aloud to Crookshanks, who had jumped on her lap, during the process of replying Harry.

Dear Harry( she read to Crookshanks),

__

Some nights I waited up for youPromises you made about coming thru

So much time, was wasted

That's why I have to replace you.

Hermione didn't even bother to write who it was from- Harry would know. She sighed, as she attached the letter to Hedwig's leg, and watched the owl blend in with the white snow blizzard outside. Hermione looked up at the Calender over her bed and realized it was Saturday. She didn't have to get up for any classes, she could skip the whole day and just stay inside her Dormitory if she wanted to. She made the decision to stay in her dormitory, where there was nothing to distract her from the memories of yesterday, from the pain from her breaking heart.

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Harry spent the day with Ron, who obviously, was trying to get Harry's mind off of Hermione. He had gotten her letter, and almost immediately seized into depression. 

__

It makes a cat nervous: the thought of settling down 

especially me, I was creeping all over town 

thought my tender touch could lock you down

I knew I had you, as cocky as it sounds

the way you used to giggle right before I put it down 

its better when you angry, come here I'll prove it now 

Ron had done everything to try to distract Harry-he had tried to play quidditch, but the weather was to stormy to do anything, he had tried to play him at Wizard's Chess, beating him quicker then usual, he had even tried to set Colin Creevy's camera on fire. Nothing worked. Harry explained himself to Ron millions of time. Every sentence he said had Hermione in it.

"Harry, I think we should go look for girls." Ron told him, pulling his arm in the direction of Pavarti and Lavender.

" Hermione would kill me." Harry responded bluntly, still starring at the icy winds outside.

" Harry- you're not with Hermione anymore, your just friends. Just talk to them, what's the harm in that?_" _Ron explained to Harry, trying to seize the moment to go talk to Lavender. Harry sighed and nodded, and allowed himself to be dragged over to the common room couch by Ron.

" Hey Lav! Hey Pavarti!" Ron saluted, putting his arm around Lavender. Lavender giggled, while Pavarti simply nodded. Here we go, Harry thought, as he sat on the couch next to Pavarti and started to listen to the starting conversation.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione got out of bed, dizziness filling her head. She had spent the majority of her day in bed. She had changed, incase Lavender or Pavarti had appeared, but rather then that she had stayed in bed, crying. She walked down the stairs, gaining courage step-by-step. She turned and looked in the direction of the common room, and stepped down. She walked down, and decided to go sit on the couch. She gasped, as she saw Harry next to Pavarti, who was laughing madly. Harry next to her also laughing. Pavarti saw her, and immediately cleared her throat, as Harry turned around.

_stop playing, you gaming, I gotta leave you alone _

cause I'm good holding down my spot 

and I'm good, with the girls on the block 

and I'm good, I got this thing on lock 

So- without me you'll be fine, right? 

Hermione turned, starting to cry again. Harry got up, excusing him self from Pavarti.

_All my pride is all I have_

Hermione wailed as she ran up the dormitory staircase, not wanting to know if Harry was chasing her.

_Pride is what you had baby girl, Im what you have_

Harry told her, trying to catch up with the angry girl. Yet again, he grabbed her arm,

_You'll be needing me, but too bad_

She tried to get away, but collapsed in Harry's arms, sobbing trying to keep her dignity. Harry took her by the shoulders, gripping tightly.

_Be easy, don't make decisions while you're mad._

Hermione tried to get away from his firm grip, crying and acting like a baby.

" Let Me Go!" she yelled at the top of her voice, so that the whole common room could hear.

_Your path you chose to run alone_

Hermione yelled at Harry through misunderstood sobs, she banged her fist against his sturdy 

chest, and he let her shoulders go. But, he kept his green eyes on her grey eyes.

_I know your independent, you can make it on your own_

He told her, trying to bring her to sense.

" Harry." she started, but her facial expression quickly went from calm to outrage, as she pushed him down , making him almost fall.

_Here with me you had a home_

She told him, running up the stairs, slamming the door her dormitory. __

__

But time is of the essence, why spend it alone.

He repeated again, as he heard Hermione stuff her head onto a pillow. He made his way down the oat-wood stairs, and got ready for the query of questions to come.

__

~*~

Harry awoke the next morning, trying to remember why he had the sinking feeling inside. Then he remembered Hermione_. _How could he have let this happen? Sure, he had been late, a couple times. He lied to himself. He sighed as he sat up, and he decided he wouldn't let her go without a fight. He smiled, as courage surged through his veins. He changed into the tradition black Hogwarts robes, as he hopped down the stairs merrily. Hermione was walking out of the Common room, as Harry felt his heart thud.

"Hermione! Hold up!" Harry called, as Hermione pivoted on her heel to face Harry. She gave him a stern look, and rolled her eyes.

"What now?" Hermione answered in a angry tone. She looked at him as he reached inside for the adrenaline he only used during Quidditch, or during a life or death situation; this was a life or death situation. 

_people make mistakes to make up, to break up_

to wake up cold and lonely, chill baby you know me

You love me I'm like your Home 

instead of beefing come hold me

I promise I'm not a phony 

don't bounce baby console me 

Hermione looked at him apologetically and flicked her head and finger close to his face .

_Ain't nothing you can say to me that can change my mind_

I gotta let you go now

and nothing will ever be the same so just be on your way 

go ahead and do your thing nowand there's no more to explain to me you know

I know you came on and feeling what you do

(and I'm good) and I'm bouncing, I'm out son

(and I'm good) I gotta leave you alone 

Harry looked down, as he felt her cool fingers lift his chin up.

_All my pride is all I have_

She told him, glaring at his green eyes. He took her hand from his chin.

_Pride is what you had, baby girl, I'm what you have_

Hermione shook her head, as she disconnected his stare. She released her hand from his grip, though, she did not walk away.

_You'll be needing me, but too bad_

Harry looked at her sadly, realizing what she was saying.

_be easy don't make decisions when you mad_

Hermione turned around, starting to walk to the exit from the common room, her curly brown hair slightly swishing behind her.

_Your path you chose to run alone_

She told him, as she approached the door to exit. He looked down, realizing something.

_I know your independent, you can make it on your own_

Hermione smiled, as she spoke the words Harry was half glad to hear, half disappointed.

"Harry, let's just stay friends." Hermione whispered through the empty Common Room. He smiled and nodded, but grinned as she spoke the last words to do with their relationship.

_Here with me you had a home_

Harry smiled as she left the Common Room, and, knowing Hermione, headed to the library. He whispered so that no one except for him could hear.

_Time is of the essence, why spend it alone_

~*~The End~*~ 

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